Nick Holt, LCSW is a certified Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, CBT therapist in West Los Angeles, 90025 | Sawtelle
  • Psychotherapy.
    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
    • Depression and Suicide.
    • Mens Mental Health.
    • Caregivers and Family.
  • Blog.
  • Contact My Practice.
    • Self Pay Therapy | Out of Network Therapist.
    • My Credentials

Nick Holt, LCSW

West Los Angeles Psychotherapy

ON Relationships and love

12/16/2017

0 Comments

 
I believe being in an intimate, connected and committed relationship is one of the most difficult things to do on the planet. Divorce rates in California have been estimated to be as high as 60%.

In my Master's in Social Work coursework at University of Southern California, one of my favorite courses was Couples Therapy -- the interplay of seen and unseen dynamics, complexity of internal and external factors on the relationship, historical intimate relationships playing out in the present. Relationships are as fascinating as they are challenging.
Picture
One of the biggest challenges in my own marriage has been cultivating a shared story that carves a path of true North. Esther Perel's Where Shall We Begin has been incredibly helpful in seeing my marriage, and all of my intimate relationships, differently.

I think her ability to highlight the shared stories of humanity and relationship are so calming and reassuring, they bring us to a place of sameness, safety and support. From NPR, quote is specific to her new book on infidelity:
When you pick a partner, you pick a story, and that story becomes the life you live. ... And sometimes you realize, after years of living those parts of you, that there are other parts of you that have virtually disappeared. The woman disappeared behind the mother. The man disappeared behind the caregiver. The sensual person disappeared behind the responsible person.
​

And there is an expression of longing and yearning. Longing for connection, for intensity, for a sense of "aliveness," which is really the word that many people all over the world would tell me when they are having an affair. They don't talk about sex and excitement and titillation, actually. ... What they say is they feel alive — as in vibrant, vital; as in a reclaiming of something that had gotten lost.
I highly recommend listening to Perel's podcast as a portal to seeing you and your relationship differently. As an entry into the podcasts, as a self-defined heterosexual, hypermasculine male, I found Season One, Episode Five and Season One, Episode Seven to be most relevant.

Happy listening!

Learn more about my Cognitive Behavioral Therapy psychotherapy practice. 

#couples #therapy #masculinity #relationships #intimacy #love #support #psychotherapy #psychotherapist
0 Comments

    Nick Holt

    Mental Health and Therapy Writer. As featured on Huffington Post, Vox Media and elsewhere.

    Archives

    January 2019
    September 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    March 2017
    July 2016
    October 2015
    August 2014
    July 2014
    May 2014
    June 2010
    May 2010

    Categories

    All
    Anger
    Anxiety
    Beliefs
    Breathing
    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
    Communication
    Compassion
    Coping
    Couples Therapy
    Inspire
    Marketing
    Men
    Mindfulness
    Obsession
    Research
    Suicide
    Thoughts
    Veterans
    Vulnerability
    West Los Angeles Therapy

    RSS Feed

Nick Holt, LCSW, BCD
​Psychotherapy.
  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
  Depression & Suicide.
  Mens Mental Health.
Blog.
Contact My Practice.
  Self-Pay Therapy.

LOCATION

*Barrington & La Grange in
​West Los Angeles*
Nick Holt, LCSW, BCD
2001 South Barrington Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90025

(310) 439-9144
© 2024 Nick Holt, LCSW, BCD. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
  • Psychotherapy.
    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
    • Depression and Suicide.
    • Mens Mental Health.
    • Caregivers and Family.
  • Blog.
  • Contact My Practice.
    • Self Pay Therapy | Out of Network Therapist.
    • My Credentials