It took me a long time before I realized the depths of my anxiety. For much of my life, I self-managed my discomfort by doing -- sports, hobbies, education, friends, family, writing and more. My checklist of "to-do's" helped regulate an early experience of feeling out-of-control, and gave me a sense of empowerment over my life.
It has taken me even longer to breakout my nuanced thoughts and feelings encompassing my anxiety. I am still learning, and still reminding myself of the importance of psychotherapy. Psychotherapy can be an important space of safety for exploration, understanding and compassion, and in rekindling my awareness and intention.
With clients, I sometimes share a lighthearted prompt: "I'm not only the hair club president... (I'm also a client)." It's meant to be a reminder that mental health and psychotherapy is not only about knowing but remembering.
We all drift from our good-enough selves. Being adaptable, resilient and committing time to reconnecting with our passions, purpose and cultivating a process to do so is most important.
We (men) struggle to do this, and this is one of the reasons why I love working in the field of Men's Mental Health in West LA.
It is hard enough for men to care for their physical vulnerabilities, let alone exposing our emotional selves. From a young age, boys are encouraged to "suck it up" and "walk it off." Messages of repressing pain and discomfort still permeate our culture.
Unfortunately, there is a consequence to this. Learn more about the challenges of men seeking support:
Studies show that men who equate seeking assistance with weakness, or the appearance of not being able to handle their own problems, experience more soured relationships with their significant others, higher rates of debilitating illnesses, and earlier death.
Let us remember to take good care of ourselves and one another. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out. I am happy to share my perspectives.
#men #masculinity #love #caring #anxiety #psychotherapy #thoughts #feelings #empowerment #reachingout #trust
Mental Health and Therapy Writer. As featured on Huffington Post, Vox Media and elsewhere.